Care Giving
March 13th, 2010
This won’t be a shock to any care giver or former care giver who finds this blog post. Care giving is hard work and exhausting. It’s also rewarding and heartwarming.
My father had emergency open heart surgery this week and I was able to go and visit and be a support to my mom. She has recently experienced significant hearing loss. I thought I was heading to Florida for one reason, and to help care for one person, and I really was going to help care for two people. I became a translator to my mother. Repeating all of the Dr.’s and nurses comments to her, not to mention the comments of visiting friends and family. I had to remain alert to inform my mother when someone came into the room. People would come and go if she wasn’t actively watching the door. On a positive note, she gets hearing aids in just a few days. Thankfully, the day before I return home she’ll be outfitted with her aids.
I will have only participated in 5 days of caregiving before returning home, and I’m exhausted on day 3. My hat is off to all of the diligent care givers who hang in there for weeks, months, and years. If you know of someone who is giving long term care to a loved one, if you are able, arrange to give them a much needed break.
I’m grateful for my limited experience this week. I’m sure I’ll be called upon to give care again in my life. I realized for the first time how much the care giver is the advocate for the patient, and if the care giver isn’t present, the pateint doesn’t always receive proper care. Pray for those care givers you are aware of. Pray that God gives them strength and energy and puts people in their lives to remind them to care for themselves, and even to help them do that.
I’m listening to Midday Connection and heard you mention the Facebook page, so went to take a look and found your blog. Thanks for posting about your experience. I’m my 87-year old great uncle’s P.O.A. He has regressed since his wife passed away in Nov ‘08. Unfortunately, he had a very volatile relationship with the tenant who became his full-time caregiver & things finally came to a head on February 9th, 2010. I have had to make so many decisions on his behalf & even though I’m not hands-on in helping him everyday with his bathing, toileting & dressing, it is highly stressful having the responsibility for another adult. He is now in a dementia/alzheimer’s assisted living facility, but we are finding that his dementia is diminishing and believe it was caused by malnutrition - he had become very thin. Praise God, he is adjusting to where he is now & I heard this morning from one of his aides that they sing the Brylcreem song together every morning and have a good laugh. I know my uncle’s heart is healing - he hasn’t sung in a very long time!
Bless you as you help your mom during your dad’s recuperation.
Helloo Your Royal Highness!
I too have had the experience of having to take care of my Mother when she was in the declining years of her life after having been active for over 82 years. There were times of struggle because she had been so independant after having lost her husband in 1977. But with much prayer and the help of neighbors, I was able to make it through. And I look back on those days with pride because at the time she needed me most, I was able to be there. I never wanted to put her in a facility and the Lord made it possible that we never had to resort to that. I will be praying that your Father and Mother will be able to live life on their terms. God Bless and your show is awesome! 
Anita, my experience during Mom’s illness left me with the conviction that every patient in a crisis situation needs an advocate. Mom was very weak, to the point that she was unable to open her eyes or hold a pen. She was 85 and my greatest concern was that the medical community would give up on this woman who was still working from her home just a day before her episode. One of the things that I did was make some album pages using photocopies of some of her art, some photos from my hard drive, and some commentary from my head. I kept it in her room and asked all of her physicians and nurses to sign it. It became a popular feature. They were amazed at her gifts and talents. One nurse supervisor even told me how the evidence in that book helped her to understand that my mother had a wonderful mind, still, at 88 and that made her start really “pulling for her”. I’m sharing this as an idea that folks might want to consider as a way of advocating for the value of their own loved ones.